Working with panic disorder and anxiety?

So a little background, I've had panic disorder, BPD, and GAD for the past 6 years. It's usually a constant wave of anxiety but I get extremely suicidal when I work, like I have contemplated killing myself while on jobs. I've even spent lunch breaks self-harming in the bathroom. I used to work retail, and my first job I quit after 3 days because the anxiety was so bad I couldn't do anything at work without crying (even in front of customers). Then I worked at a dollar store where I quit after a month. There my boss would scream at me in front of customers, make me restock shelves, he was just a complete *******. I was so suicidal after work one night, I spent went right to the ER to be observed because I was so scared of killing myself.

PRESENT: I just started working at a hospital, cleaning. I like the people, it's just the impending sense of responsibility that freaks me out. I don't know what to do. If I keep working I'm so scared I'll really hurt myself, but I can't bring myself to quit because I need money, I'm afraid of confrontation, I'm afraid they'll hate me and think I'm a waste. I'm afraid my roommates and parents, who were all so proud of me for finally working, will get mad at me. I don't know what to do, but this is killing my mental health. :(

Working with panic disorder and anxiety?